apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
