no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
