How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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