I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
