The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
