I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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