She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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