At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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