I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
