I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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