You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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