i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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