Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize