i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
