the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
