I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
