Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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