the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
