Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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