We won't sleep together?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
