and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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