I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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