dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
