it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
