we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
