I swear she didn't look like that last week.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
