He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
