Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize