Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
