out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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