I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
