can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
