You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
