small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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