jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize