The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
