when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
