you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
