I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
