I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
