we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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