i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize