What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
