Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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