im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
