My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
