that's an acceptable place to lick
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize