no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
