Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
