let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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