they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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