you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
