don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
