I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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