you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
