Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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