what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
