VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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