Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
