he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I looked at my own cervix.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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