He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
