Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
