Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
no you cant smoke seaweed
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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