on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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