yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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