I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
