just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
