So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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