Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
