Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
