Welp...herpes.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
