I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
